relationship

i'm reading a book called 'the proper care and feeding of husbands.' it really helps me reflect on my relationship and what has gone well and makes me reevaluate whether or not we 'need' counseling... or if it is just me.

i know for a fact that i take what i have for granted. when asked why i wanted to leave him last summer, all i could come up with is 'i don't feel connected with him. everything is okay but i just don't feel loved. we need a stronger friendship. we are just too different.'

i was ready to leave the man who does so much for me. the book says that women communicate verbal love, men communicate love via action. that being said, my man has done so many things over the years, always putting himself second to me.
despite my bratty, selfish behavior, he has bought me things, taken me out to dinner, flown me to CA and bought me tickets to disneyland, repaired things in my house, taken me to see my family without me asking, is putting so much money into a house for us, sends me money for clothes, bought me pretty earrings, makes me dinner, holds my hand, says 'i love you' in front of everyone, gives me kisses, etc.

all of this and i still present the same arguement, even when he says time and time again how he doesn't understand why i am unhappy after everything he does for me. i say stupid things, blaming my dissatisfaction on him potentially having ADD or him not being in touch enough with his emotions, blaming his upbringing. perhaps the only problem is with my expectations....

the book says that a big problem is that we want our men to not only be masculine, but be our best girlfriends. we are trying to make them into women. you can't have everything. the guy friends i've had and felt such a good connection with wouldn't make good life partners. my man has been there through so much. i have put him through so much shit. all he has ever done is love me. he has never cheated or done anything cruel.
he always informs me of what his plans are and even asks for my permission/approval.

what a wonderful person.

he loves when i do his laundry. he needs more signs of love via action. i need more signs of love via verbal communication. i need to value him just as much as he values me.