the internship is going pretty well. everyone seems to get along with the exception of one. other than that, it's lazy and perfect.
my roommate and i are becoming friends faster than either of us had anticipated. we have a lot in common when it comes to mental channeling.
neither of us consider ourselves christians anymore. she has moved away from it much more decisively than i have, but i don't connect with religion that well, never have. i have been doing a lot of self-help type of reading and i really enjoy it. i love reading so much, i never knew how much i had missed it.
i just finished Another Way to Be, and am starting on The Secret. it's interesting, not backed by evidence or facts very well but i'll give it a shot. the "secret" is nothing more than the law of attraction where like attracts like. good thoughts bring more good thoughts.
i am going to do my best to try this tomorrow. the book had a good point that if you wake up in a bad mood, it seems to follow you and cloud your thoughts all day. what you wish is what will be received. always word desires in the positive, never the negative. to think about what you don't want to happen is to word it in the negative, drawing in that bad feeling/circumstance that you wish to avoid.
tomorrow will go well, especially since nick will be supervising.
i also believe that enlightenment is necessary. i do love the BUF and its atmosphere. loved it. love that my roommate is so excited about it too, and that we both think this all happened at the perfect time.
i had a really good time with the guys today. i wish i had more encounters with guy friends growing up, i never really know how to act around them. they sure are more agreeable than most girls.
tomorrow will be fun.
next week i will need to read the nooksack information and learn salmon facts as best as i can. i also should get the powerpoint from kaitlyn. and get my $30. and see steph.
i feel ready for fall quarter. i am trying to enjoy my last summer in bellingham, although it isn't unfolding how i imagined it would. this is fine - i need things to wind down. i need to focus on making connections while i still have the time.
i hope melissa will get into UW's program! i would love to be a ferry ride away from her. i have wanted a good connection with a friendship like this for a long time. years. nothing feels as good as someone who just gets you without any extra effort.
everything is pretty wonderful. i believe this is the summer i'll look back on and savor. i want to continue my interactions with people similar to the way i do here. laid back and open. i need that in my relationship. egalitarian, open minded, relaxed enough to allow for each other to spend time with friends and not freak out about the separation. maybe that is why marriage terrifies me....you seem to become your spouse's crutch. you lose your identity and just become this team of subdued individuals. no more freedom or personal growth. they say your best friend can be your worst roommate...
somehow i feel he would hold marriage over my head. like "well, you are my wife now. you said your vows." i refuse to feel trapped.
i guess i won't know until after the transition happens. i am sorta dreading it. it's a lifestyle change. i love this lifestyle i live now. i fear that if i don't have like minded people around me, i'll fall back into old subordinated habits. i try so hard to make the relationship work that i subdue myself.
i think in the long run we will be okay. we've made it work this long and i know he truly does care about me. there is just a lot of work he'll have to do to get in touch with himself and be more open with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment